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Quitter

June 29, 2011

At the recommendation of the fine folks over at the Paper Wings Podcast I picked up the book “Quitter” by Jon Acuff. It was $14 on Amazon, and at page 68 I feel it has paid for itself in worthwhile advice twice over.

Quitter is a book about “Closing the gap between your day job & your dream job,” but for me it is far more than that. This is a book written by a man who has faced that wicked beast, Perfectionism, and learned how to trick it out of victory, rather than bullishly fight it in a hopeless battle. And it is these insights, among many, that I value the most.

There are many topics he discusses that hit particularly close to home for me, but the one I want to discuss here is the logic of fear, as that has been by Theme for these past few weeks. Not a particularly comfortable Theme, but important trend’s in my life have rarely been comfortable.

He describes fear as taking three forms of “logic,” those twisting, nonsensical rationalizations that never stand up to actually logical appraisals. The first is the Magnifying glass, in which we focus so intently on the fear that it becomes all encompassing. The dream, the goal, the potential benefit we stand to gain from a decision cannot possibly stand up to the force of this near and impossible fear. It is consuming, a tiny wolf-spider bloated into a beast that would make Tolkien’s Shelob quiver in fear. The second form is the Kaleidoscope, in which we examine a fear only to find it building and building upon itself, fragmenting and spreading until every single corner of our lives spiral into inevitable catastrophe. And the third is the Telescope, in which we examine the fear in detail, but also from very far away. There is time and space between here and fear, and there are means by which to avoid it if we choose.

I have no idea how to turn my fears into Telescopic experiences, (although Jon assures me that I will, when I reach chapter eight) but as an experienced Catastrophizer, this concept was a strange one. Fears always seem so immediate to me, regardless of how much I might have done to prevent them. I have squirreled away savings like a deranged…well…squirrel, yet the idea of trying anything with risk instantly equates to destitution and starvation. If only I could learn to see that fear at its proper distance, perhaps I could release myself from this imposed need to suffer now for an elusive, unattainable future. Perhaps I could instead choose to LIVE now, for a future that is well within my grasp.

If you have ever struggled to realize a dream, or battled hopelessly with Perfectionism and doubt, I would recommend this book. 68 pages in, and this has already been an incredible read for me. Jon is entertaining, practical, whimsical, and insightful in his approach. I could not have started reading it at a more appropriate time, and my infinite thanks are to the wonderful Lora and Chris at the Paper Wings Podcast for recommending it. Reading it has been a well-needed validation and wake-up call.