Originally in the script I was going to have Pakku call out all of the kinds of things that he was observing. Then Noel sent back this awesome page and I realized that what I had was way too many words and none of them were needed.
If you’re curious, here’s what I cut out and left on the editing room floor:
DETAIL CAPTIONS: Rakapomo Mining application denied three times, despite most rapidly growing industry in Itsuri. Vilazozhu Electrician application fast-tracked despite origin of technology being in Kuzopa. Prominent Momuru Vintner Guild Merchant gains ownership of historical Vilazozhu farmland. Kuzopa makes gift to Momuru Merchant Guilds of several state-of-the-art ships. Kuzopa Engineer and Shipwright Guilds both approved simultaneously, unprecedented. Graft. Bribery. Assault. Destruction of property. Collusion. Extortion.
While there are some extra little world-building tidbits with those words, the larger idea still gets across without them. It’s even possible including all of that would have just confused the message, rather than clarified it. Sometimes as a writer one has to just accept that the art takes precedence, and let it stand on its own. In this case, it was an easy choice.