And that’s it for Pakku’s vignette! A huge thanks to Noel for their awesome work illustrating this short!! Check out their comic Ignition Zero, their Numinous Tarot deck, and more projects at their website and support them on Patreon. Because they are rad.
Next week I will be taking a Thanksgiving Break. Updates resume on the 27th!
Speaking of Thanksgiving, I’ve been having holiday anxieties about the oddest things. Normally I’m a grump this time of year, but I had my holiday blues early in August – October. As a result, I’ve only been oddly fixated on one specific thing: What am I going to wear?
Every year Cory and I go to his college fraternity and we cook Thanksgiving Dinner for the house and their sorority guests. It’s a big event, serving 100-200 people. Normally I am right there with him all day cooking up a storm. Except it’s also a formal event, so right when everything is the most chaotic getting the final touches ready, I’m supposed to run out of the kitchen, change into a dress, and sprint back. I usually end up finishing up the gravy in a ballgown. Not exactly the most practical arrangement. And then I’m freezing for the rest of the night.
The first year I tried to do everything the “way I’m supposed to.” Make-up, high heels, jewelry. The year after that I did all of that, but kept my comfortable shoes on. The next year, no make-up. And then it was no jewelry. Finally last year I was just fed up with being cold and said, “Forget it, I’m keeping my sweatpants and sweater.” But I admit, I felt like a real schlub, with everybody around me in fancy dresses and suits.
So it’s been keeping me up at night. What do I wear? The thing is, I don’t really care all that much for dresses. Shopping for them is particular torture. They’re too expensive, they never fit, and they never last. I always feel horrible and ugly trying them on. As if I don’t fit in the world and I’m not shaped the way I’m supposed to be shaped. Nothing will destroy my self esteem like dress shopping.
So last night, after laying awake for an hour or two, when Cory came in just past midnight I asked him, “What do you think about me wearing a suit instead?” and he said, “Go for it!”
So today I went to the thrift store. And I learned several important things, browsing through the men’s section for shirts and pants and so forth. Mainly, I love shopping for men’s clothing because:
- 5x the fabric thickness
- 5x the fabric quality
- Shirts actually fit my beefy (they’re not that beefy, but you wouldn’t know that based on the standard ladies clothing cuts) shoulders
- Buttons stay buttoned (I tried a few ladies shirts and they kept unbuttoning themselves as I buttoned them??)
- When I buy based on the numbers on the label, they fit perfectly and exactly every time. Guys, I’m not sure you understand how incredible it is to pull pants off a rack based on two numbers and have them fit without issue. And to have all of those pants, with those exact same numbers, fit in roughly the same way instead of being drastically different.
- I LOOK DAPPER AS ALL GET OUT
Here’s some pictures:
More importantly: I felt AMAZING doing this shopping. These clothes made me feel confident and fun and comfortable and WARM (I am always cold) and just happy! I found all sorts of things that I liked wearing. I TOOK SELFIES. I SO RARELY TAKE SELFIES. THAT’S HOW MUCH I ENJOYED THESE LOOKS.
I posted these on my social media and got about four different people nominating me for the next Doctor Who (gotta put an order in for a sonic screwdriver!) and one suggestion for a monocle (I suggested a sword cane in addition). I don’t know if Cory’s relatives will approve, but I know I sure felt great. Besides, I’m an artist. I’m pretty sure that gives me legal authorization to mess with gender norms and be “eccentric.”
Speaking of, what was oddest to me was that the more I leaned into the more masculine stylings, the more I thought, “I think…I’d really like to get my ears pierced.” I guess, what I’m most comfortable with for personal style is stuff that’s more androgynous than completely masculine. I like masculine clothing shapes and lines, textures and designs. Yet there’s also a part of me that enjoys a little sparkle and glitter and outrageous color. And it seemed like my ears would be a perfect place to add that.
Of course, if I did that, I’d just wear nothing but tea and nerd paraphernalia.
There are worse things.