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C13P31 – In Secret

C13P31 – In Secret published on 8 Comments on C13P31 – In Secret

Side note:  I have adored reading the theories folks have been coming up with recently.  I don’t want to spoil anything for you, so I have largely stayed out of them so as to avoid confirming or denying anything.  However, I do want to express how wonderful and observant and clever you all are and I absolutely LOVE YOU ALL!

So…carry on, you brilliant, beautiful, glorious people.  Carry on.

In non-comic musings, I have been thinking about memory a lot.  Specifically, my own.

I throw my poor memory under the bus a lot.  I preface statements with, “I have a terrible memory, so forgive me if I _____” frequently.  I didn’t care for “Finding Dory” much because it often hit too close to home.  It’s especially embarrassing if I’m playing board games, as I will forget what I was planning to do mid-turn…and if I’m the bank during Settlers of Catan, you will have to remind me you get a brick on 8s and 6s EVERY TIME.  I am hopeless with names, dates, places, faces, and times, and I can only remember that I can’t remember those things because there are five things in that list and that is the number of fingers on my hand.  I can’t remember right from left.  Or which way east and west are relative to north and south without saying “Never Eat Soggy Wheat” and using my fingers to point at each direction as I say them.  I can read a book in a day and re-read it the next because I’ve already lost the vast majority of its contents from my mind.  I have played the same RPG modules at game night and not realized I’ve played that module twice before…with the same character.

I just…my memory is really bad.

But if that is true…how could I keep so many little details for this story in my head?

And it occurred to me:  My memory isn’t necessarily bad for everything.  In fact, it is FANTASTIC for SEQUENCES.

I remember things in chains.  Systems of interlocking cascades.  It’s part of why having my schedule or situation change is so upsetting.  I immediately become very anxious that I will forget something important, because it is no longer within the construct my mind built to remember it.  Break the chain, the sequence, and my memory no longer functions.

It also helps me understand why I have such trouble with names and faces at shows.  Names and faces are disconnected data points for me.  They are not connected to a chain.  So the data is not stored in a place in my mind that I can access.  It’s not that the information is not there.  It is that it is not accessible.  If someone can help me build a chain, a STORY, then suddenly I will have all sorts of obscure memories that I will recall.

It’s also why I’ve always enjoyed math.  Math is simply a consistent set of sequences applied to varying types of problems.  If you know the right cascading process to apply, you can solve the problem.  The process is identified by lining up knowns and desired outcomes, and then applying the appropriate sequence of actions to the knowns in order to yield the desired outcomes.

Thinking about this has made me wonder how I could approach my typical memory problems and fix them with intentionally creating chains.  Repeating someone’s name multiple times when I meet them has never helped me…but maybe I could learn how to create a memory chain for them instead?

It’s always fascinating to learn a new thing about how this weird brain of mine ticks.

Have you learned anything new about yourself recently?

8 Comments

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Mentioning the thing you wrote about in the side note, what if you thought of it as a web by the people they know/how you met them? I don’t care about people’s opinions of me so I generally don’t learn names anywho, I can only learn visuals. I know what things look like, not what they’re called.

I tend to remember names better if I see them written out. Names can sound too similar to each other that I can get them easily confused unless they are unique in some way to me (like someone named Montana since I had family living there). I am also horrible with book titles. I can recall plot lines from books I read back in elementary school (sometimes in great detail), but can’t remember the title or the author for the life of me. Makes it quite frustrating when I want to find the book again. I do agree that concepts are easier to understand than random things, like names or other point information that have no sense. Most classes I can remember concepts that we learned from it, though might not remember the names of people in the class. The one class I had issues with was organic chemistry, and that was only one semester. The professor insisted that we memorize a bunch of reactions in the last few weeks of class in order to use on the final to make compounds. I could not remember them for the life of me by the time of the final. I could remember them the next semester though since we learned them in groups based on class, so they had context and order.
I do agree that I never understood why specific dates and names were important in history class. I always thought that the reasons why things happened were more important.

Don’t get me started on book titles! I remember books by their location in a book store or library. I can’t count the number of books I’ve been unable to relocated because a place decided to rearrange their shelves.

As for classes, biology was always tricky for me for the same reason as your organic chemistry class. So much was based on memorization without context. I had the same complaint about history as you too. Which is a shame, because now that I’m older and have started doing research on my own, I’ve discovered I very much enjoy history. The past has so much value to the present.

Oh man Robin I have the exact opposite problem! I’m terrible at sequence, I can’t remember the order of events that happened in any specific roleplay or real-life day or week because each discrete event is its own thing and my brain refuses to chain them together for me. I’ll describe different thngs that happened to me at the same point in time as happening one after another until I realize how it can’t work because if you add up all the time, it adds up to more life than I’ve actually had.

Example on that – I know, for example, that I had an awesome third grade teacher whom I loved very much. I know that my fourth grade teacher was terrible and abusive emotionally speaking.

I also know that I went to daycare when I was a child, the daycare was breaking all sorts of laws, and I was being bullied and even physically attacked by other kids on a daily basis.

I know intellectually that the bullying stuff had to take place during one of those two years, probably during third grade (though I’d have to ask my mom) but in my brain they’re two separate things that happened to me and imagining them as going on in the same space/length of time confuses me. They had to, but my brain keeps going “No those are two separate thigns they didn’t happen at the same time”

I can also remember separate building blocks of games I’ve participated in or whatever – I remember that I introduced this character, or this awesome moment happned – but I couldn’t tell you if Thing A happened first or Thing B happened firsed, or if Thing C came before, after, or between them.

Also remembering what I ate for dinner can be challenging not because I can’t remember but because I can’t remember if the chicken parm was last night or two weeks ago (It was really delicious though, oh hey Benji what day did we go on a date again? That was the other day right? No, yesterday? Okay oops)

But somewhow as a writer I can remember the sequences of things that I’m planning on writing really well in my head. I don’t get it.

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