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C12P10 Regrets

C12P10 Regrets published on 9 Comments on C12P10 Regrets

Kali wishes she had done some things differently in that final confrontation. For my part, I wish I’d developed a lot of that chapter differently. Reviewing my own regrets on that chapter has spurred a lot of growth though. I guess sometimes we have to do things we regret to know there’s a need to do something different.

Speaking of the writing process, I completed my first draft for chapter thirteen today. What was especially interesting to me was that I recognized a pattern in my process. (It’s possible I’ve recognized this pattern before and forgotten it. We’ve talked about how bad my memory is, right? I think we have. Well, if we haven’t, it’s bad.)

Specifically, the EARLY stages of writing. Where I’ve been thinking and brainstorming for months, writing outlines and doodling and trying to find my theme, but I haven’t yet put words to text editor. And I feel like I CAN’T start to write. “I don’t know exactly what my theme statement is. I don’t know how to make every word perfect. How can I start if I don’t know what I’m doing??”

Through all of that resistance, I will finally force myself to start writing anyway. And for the first several scenes, I will hate everything I write. When I’m in this stage, I feel like I’m the worst writer in the world. That nothing I’ve ever written is any good, and never will be. The doubts and “Why am I doing this? I AM A HACK,” are loud and obnoxious.

Normally, I spend a lot of time in this stage because I’ll beat up on myself for not writing as much as I feel like I SHOULD. (“Should” in this case means write a complete draft in a single day.) This time, I started to do this, and then went, “Wait a minute…this feels familiar…Do I do this EVERY time?? Is this…a normal part of the process?? WHAAAAT??”

Putting that in context made writing a lot easier, because I no longer believed that I would be, “stuck this way FOREVER” and that soon enough I’d hit a groove and writing would come easier. And you know what? It did!

As for making the writing GOOD, now that I’ve embraced that EDITING is where a story gets refined, it makes it easier to just get that first, exceptionally flawed, draft out. Not effortless…but easier.

Other fun observations while writing the first draft of chapter 13:

  • If Tama has something to say, he’s gonna say it. No matter what my plans for him might be. HE HAS A POWERFUL NEED TO EXPRESS HIMSELF.  Furthermore, despite being essentially Pope-in-waiting, Tama is as close to an atheist as one can be in a world of talking gods.
  • Dream Eater is not a morning person.  Also, housekeeping appears to be a foreign concept to him.
  • I hope you are looking forward to some history, because Dream Eater was In A Mood and is of the belief that we are in need of some quality education.  And/or pontification.
  • Holy crap, Vision is a piece of work. I mean I knew this, but…wow. Wow, wow, wow you guys are going to haaaaate him.

Is there a part of your creative process that you find yourself going through every time you try to make something new?


Children visit this site. Moderate your language accordingly.

Yeaaah, I’ve been there. |D My own output is sporadic, at best – and I’m not even presenting it to anyone, just getting it “physically” out there!

Anyways: YAY HISTORY! =D I love infodumps.

I love this style! And I really like Kali more and more. She’s not the most balanced character in the world, but she’s really learning from her mistakes, and she wants to help the other characters grow too. If that happens to involve shoving them in the water to learn to swim, well.

Also, I am really excited for more god stuff!!!

Have you read “Bird by Bird” by Anne Lamott or “Writing Down the Bones”? Those are both very good writing books that talk about how during the first draft you just need to sit down and let yourself go. You can only edit a draft if it’s down on paper.

And yes, thinking how much it sucks really is part of the process for everybody. Guess what, Robin. Everyone’s first draft really sucks.

Kali is hard on everyone, but she’s perhaps hardest on herself.

On your advice, I just checked out “Bird by Bird” from my library (yay eBooks!) and “Writing Down the Bones” is now on my wishlist for future checkout. Thank you!

It’s funny, intellectually I KNOW that the first draft always sucks…but I can never seem to remember that when it comes to writing time. (Until last week, that is! AHHAAHAAAA! I’m learning, Skysong! I’m actually learning. WHOOOO!)

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