C11P91 What other people see – MOKO Press presents: LeyLines, a Fantasy Adventure Comic by Robin Childs Skip to content
Follow

C11P91 What other people see

C11P91 What other people see published on 11 Comments on C11P91 What other people see

Una’s opinion of the status quo is not particularly favorable.

There are books and topics I want to talk about, but right now I’m mostly just tired. And not in the best mental place. Upside is I KNOW that I’m not in a great mental place and I’m taking steps to address it and make sure it doesn’t escalate, but it’s still not a great feeling to have intense depression thoughts going round and round. Just because I know I’m not going to commit suicide doesn’t mean it makes dealing with thoughts about it any easier.

It’s like having a drunk, unwanted visitor shouting outside my house. I know they can’t get through the door, but I also know they’re not going anywhere for a while, I can always hear them shouting abuse, and as long as they’re there, I can’t leave the house. At best, it’s mentally very draining and frustrating, because I know that this drunk person is a piece of myself. I wish it was as simple as “just thinking happy thoughts,” but if dealing with depression was something that one could just snap one’s fingers to fix, I’d have done that over a decade ago.

Today is the first Vlog of the month on Patreon, which means I make it public, but I’m so down in it that I almost didn’t post it. I hesitate to share my unvarnished thoughts when I’m in this state of mind. Yet at the same time, the weekly Vlogs on Patreon are pretty much all about that. Sharing my Real Deal thoughts with a small, personal community. Most of the time that means good, or at the very least philosophical. Some of the time, it means bad. And on rare occasions, like to day, it means very bad.

In the end, I decided to share it, because this is part of the experience too. Sometimes if we’re struggling, it’s good to know we’re not the only one. Other people are fighting their own battles too. Today I’ve definitely been fighting mine:

What battles are fighting? Whether you share them or not, know that I’m wishing you the strength to face them, and the grace to let yourself rest so that you may face those battles in the proper time. Take care of yourself.

11 Comments

Children visit this site. Moderate your language accordingly.

It’s okay, Pakku. Go sit in your emo corner for a while and let Una bring you blankets and say encouraging-but-snarky things to you for a while and you’ll feel better. It’s okay to feel bad about yourself for a little bit, as long as you come out of it eventually!

>.> The same message for the author, too! Robin, take the time you need. Depression doesn’t get better with the snap of your fingers. So bask in the warmth of your friends, family, and (if I might be so bold) fans until you can generate your own again! -optional!Hugs-

I kinda want to doodle Pakku in a massive pile of blankets on a couch while Una hangs upside-down with her feet over the couch backing, watching TV together, pointing out stupid tropes and illogical plot-lines, and gobbling pop-corn.

…Best roomies ever. Although I don’t know if Una’s cleanliness level would match Pakku’s. Una is organized. Pakku is…sparse.

On the outside looking in… Never quite able to connect. Sorry, Pakku, but you’re a fellow traveller in this instance. If you want peace of mind, Lady Una’s kind of hit the nail on the head. The reality is that we’ll never be like everyone else, and trying to be causes intense unhappiness.

Oh, Pakku. It’s nice and yet also awful to see him so vulnerable.

And thank you for sharing, Robin. It’s always good to bring these things into the light. You do so well despite everything. All of the hugs.

Me and Pakku have been feeling very similar lately. It’ll get better eventually for both of us. (“OR WILL IT???” Said the evil writer. And/or FATE.)

I know things will get better for you. Pakku I’m not so sure about, since you like to make sure your characters are good and broken before you let them be happy. And you have your own, extreme definition of “broken.” This is far too early in the story for Pakku to have hit his lowest point yet. *suspicious squint*

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar