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C10P49 – Cruel

C10P49 – Cruel published on 18 Comments on C10P49 – CruelPurchase

There’s a certain revelry in rage, before the weight of consequences set in, that is a heady drink. I’ve rarely let myself indulge in that feeling. Come up against the edge of it and on some level there’s an awareness that, tempting though it may be, that’s not a good road.

Although there seems to be a major exception for me when people mess with my ability to sleep. I mean, you go to ONE slumber party as a kid and NOBODY will just SHUT UP until you finally just LOSE IT and tell them to BE QUIET in tones of barely contained fury and suddenly everyone’s convinced you were possessed and then POOF-! No more slumber party invitations. Tragic really…(Although I was never much of a fan of slumber parties, so maybe it wasn’t all THAT tragic…)

…I’m just saying. Don’t mess with people when they’re trying to get some shut-eye.

Or when they’re half-crazy gods that have been slowly re-shaped by ill-intentioned lies. You know. Little stuff like that. Everybody has a breaking point somewhere…

In other news – We reached the 50% milestone for the Kickstarter!! Thank you so much to everyone that’s become a backer so far! If you have a chance, please share the project with a friend! We need your help to keep the adventure going! Click here to become a backer today!

18 Comments

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I know what you mean about anger/rage. My whole life I barely ever felt angry, and then when I was 20/21, my depression turned in that direction and I was angry ALL THE TIME, at NOTHING. It is…weirdly satisfying.

Congrats on reaching your halfway point!! I’m gonna do a promo for it on Tumblr/the IZ site soon, hopefully with next week’s update.

I’ve found the link between anger and depression to be very strong in my life. I once heard that depression is caused by anger turned inward. I’m not sure I agree that’s 100% of the issue, but it does seem to have some validity. As I’ve gotten more in touch with my emotions, rather than auto-repressing them, I’ve found that anger continues to be what I struggle with the most. I’ve never developed any management or coping skills for it, other than bottling. As you describe, often when I feel anger now it’s this constant, broad fury with no clear source or target. I hope I can find a better way to process it someday.

Ohhh, man, Zhiro’s going to be so screwed up whenever he gets his body back…

Mizha’s going to find him like this, isn’t she.

(PS: Are you planning to add buttons and other little things like that from the store to the Kickstarter?)

Alas, I cannot tell you. You’ll just have to wait and find out. 🙂

Regarding buttons…I could definitely add them to the add-on menu. I just wasn’t sure people would be interested in them. Anybody reading this — can you give me a shout-out if you’d like to add buttons to your Kickstarter pledge?

Once upon a time, when I was a younger man, I had the patience of a saint. I’ve been told this by MANY people, even people who barely knew me. While some of that patience still remains with people, I often lose it with inanimate objects that do not function the way they are supposed to.

Ironically enough, my GF recently smashed the screen on her laptop due to frustration in dealing with someone. She’s not one to lose her temper ever, so she was horribly embarrassed. We’re able to laugh about it because there’s no point stressing over the small things.

I have a rage problem myself. I know I do, so I do my best to contain it. Even to go as far as to cry instead of smashing the person/thing that pissed me off.

Once upon a time in an attempt to cure myself of my mental problems I tried a gluten free diet. Turns out it wasn’t gluten I was allergic to, but caffeine.

This did not help my rage issues. I ended up getting pissed at an automatic voice box thing for fed ex when it just didn’t want to understand me. I punched my car window while I was in passenger side and added quite a few more cracks to the poor window.

Yeah…

Man, and I thought I was angry! I’m always mad about something, but it’s generally important things (climate change, social injustice, etc). I’ll briefly be angry about stupid things but I try very hard not to take it out on anyone or anything that doesn’t deserve it. And I’ve really never attacked an inanimate object – if I break it, I have to fix it.

I’ve had a couple occasions of stunned silence reactions. In college my Indian roommate’s friends all burst in at 2 am shouting about it snowing (it wasn’t even sticking!) and I sat up in my bed and gave them a death glare and told them to Shut. Up. And then there were a couple times when I was foreman of a crew on a job site. Another crew ran over our welding cable, cutting the insulation almost to the actual wire. My quiet cursing them out over nearly killing 10 people on a steel frame work they’d draped the cable over certainly did the trick! They consulted me every single time they moved the cable after that. And then there was all the cursing I did when they decided to dump all their supplies in front of the only loading dock with a plate, instead of one of the three without one. We had a full truck load of insulation bales arrive that day, and we had to hand-carry all of it off the truck because there was no plate to safely drive the forklift over. I was directing the unloading all while calling the construction guys idiots in 3 different languages.

Oh, sleep and rage! I knocked on of my younger brothers across the room one time, and it wasn’t eve his fault! My mom and I were up dying Easter eggs and she made the mistake of hiding them near where I was sleeping in the living room. He climbed on my bed and I rose up like a monster of yore and knocked him across the room. He went crying to mom and she told him he knew better than to bother me when I was asleep! Four kids took that out of me, it’s amazing how fast you can wake up when you need to

Arg, this chapter is just wonderful in every possible way. Dreameater being terrifying AND Mizha standing up for herself in back-to-back scenes. Can it possibly get any more awesome than this? NO. (Except knowing you, yes, it probably can. By a lot.)

And the constant evolution of your artwork continues to amaze me. Seriously, you’re getting better at this every day.

I’m so glad you’re enjoying this chapter! I’m very proud of the progress in this one. I felt like I had another art-jump during the production and I’m seeing panels and backgrounds in a brand new way. And the story is one that I’ve been working up to for a long time. In many ways, this chapter feels a bit like a finale for a season to me. We’re wrapping up a lot of the major problems of season one…and introducing a whole lot more for season two!

When I get angry I get the urge to throw things. I’m usually fairly careful not to throw anything that will break or in the direction of things that can be broken since the time I pitched my cell phone and it, um, did not survive the experience, but it can be a release. But it can also be scary, so I try not to do it.

There’s something fun about being angry. And when you’re angry, there’s something fun about lashing out and destroying things. It used to scare me and it still does, but I think a little bit of fear at that is healthy. It reminds you that anger is a drug and it needs to be handled carefully. But it is also sometimes necessary, which is why it’s so fun. Adrenaline gives us pleasure because we needed it so much i n the old days.

Dream Eater has been corrupted by too much fo the fun, because he was never able to feel the fear.

This seems like such a choice moment to me now. Dream eater is still clever. But he chooses to be cruel because sometimes it’s so much easier to just give in to the lies people say about you than it is to continue to be yourself.

Dream Eater needs to learn the lessons that Mizha just learned in the last few pages.

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