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C10P30 – How you see me

C10P30 – How you see me published on 12 Comments on C10P30 – How you see mePurchase

I’ve been really afraid of posting this page. To the point where I considered re-writing the entire chapter multiple times to make this at least a little less horrible. However, this moment has been such a fundamental and defining moment of regret for Mizha and Zhiro that in the end I decide to commit to it. And we’ve been leading up to it from the very beginning. Mizha’s first nightmare, Zhiro and Mizha meeting again after five years, Zhiro’s enraged speech at the Dream Eater phantom, and even at the beginning of this chapter.

Their history together is highly colored by this moment. A time where Mizha was purposefully cruel, and now she can never take it back. In many ways, Mizha has preferred to live in a fantasy world because if she lived in the real world, she’d have to admit she’s been a horrible person in her past.

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Aaaaaaand this is even worse than I thought it was going to be. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I had a feeling that whatever Mizha did was going to be horrible, but this isn’t what I expected.

But at the same time, the meaning behind this page really does stand out to me. Because, like Mizha, I have done some pretty mean things in the past which I’d rather forget, and I think a lot of people can relate.

Oh I’ve been down the “should I rewrite this?” road before. Specifically Renate’s death at the end of Endgame. He came to be a character so many people liked that I seriously considered rewriting that ending.

However, I’ve been quite stoic and stuck to my guns on the decision (or honored Renate’s decision that is.).

She really is a cruel one, for sure… I don’t even think sh realizes just how cruel she really was. ( or at least didn’t at the time)

you know I actually figured this was exactly where this was leading right from the last page. I think it’s interesting that tama and Mizha have been undeniably cruel to zhrio at some point in their lives. I’m not actually shocked by this page

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