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C10P20 – Talk to them

C10P20 – Talk to them published on 4 Comments on C10P20 – Talk to them

Sometimes the most difficult thing to do as a friend is nothing at all.  It’s a real challenge not to act when I think somebody’s done something wrong to one of the people I care about.  I’m pretty terrible about defending myself and my own boundaries, but by all things good and righteous I’ll go Momma Bear on somebody for messing with a friend.  Kinda like Tama here’s more than happy to go “talk” to the Keepers.  May not be the right place to stick his nose, but he’s more than willing to get in there and do some convincing.  And he’s just spoiled enough to think that he’d actually succeed.

What prompts a Momma Bear (or Papa Bear) reaction in you?

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Oh boy, we’re talking about Momma Bear mode. (I have a much more crude, less charitable name for this mode when it comes to me doing it, but this name gets the point across just as nicely.)

The only thing that reliably unleashes the Bear is general backstabbing. I’m fortunate enough to have avoided that sort of BS since grade school — but it seems as though friends of mine are running into it way too often lately. And when that happens, I’m same as you. DING DING! Round one!

My friends have told me I’m legitimately frightening to watch when in Momma Bear mode. The first guy to bring out that side of me (he was targeting my boyfriend) pretty much got his throat verbally ripped out, and had to run away with his tail between his legs. And the only reason the most recent offenders have gotten away with their pride intact is… well, because I don’t know where to find them.

Admittedly, being told that I can be genuinely scary is a huge confidence boost, since I’m a very short and unintimidating person XD

That said, I’m careful to get all sides of the story before passing judgment. Usually what LOOKS like a nasty betrayal turns out to be a stupid miscommunication, and talking things out like rational adults is enough to smooth things over.

(Unfortunately, there have been times when examining the other person’s side reveals that someone I thought was a friend is in fact a rotten apple — or at the very least, someone with toxic issues I don’t have the training or patience to deal with. Those folks get the Bear, and a swift end to whatever relationship had been there before. Sometimes the best thing to do is unplug ASAP.)

Also BACK TO TALKING ABOUT THE PAGES — I’ve really enjoyed looking at your environments lately, ’cause I just got out of a class that taught me how to do that. It’s so much fun to take the settings apart and figure out how to reconstruct them in my sketchbook. And I love how much texture you manage to imply through color alone; you practically don’t need the ink lines on the floor, for example.

Oh, Tama. Although this is completely what I would do in his place.

I am a complete Mama Bear with all my friends. I will not allow anyone to talk bad about the people I care about. Distressingly, the people talking bad about them often happen to be themselves. I worry that I get too in-their-face when it’s like that, but I try to make it clear that it’s because I care. And also because I’ve been in the same places and learned a lot from it.

…… If someone says “Your MOM _________.” to me. That’s it. I mean, bam. I can shrug off insults to myself more or less, but insult my family – especially my mother – and I get PISSED. Unfortunately I’m probably not very intimidating in these instances, as I’m usually incoherent with rage and struggling both with expressing just how stupid that person is and NOT physically assaulting them. I struggled with it a lot in high school, since those two little words were the new hot comeback. 90% of the time the offender probably didn’t even mean my mother, just the vague notion of a maternal figure, but I let myself get riled up anyway.
It’s interesting – I have a complex but ultimately (mutually) devoted and loving relationship with my mother, to the point that I’ve even stopped and looked at one of the kindest friends I have and thought, “I wish she treated her parents better.” While intellectually I understand that not all parents are good ones, the idea is so foreign to me – that you wouldn’t gladly take a bullet for the people who gave you life – that I’m never sure what to do when I find myself exposed to someone who’s parents were less than optimal.

What I do do, however, is try to remind myself that even though I can be irritated by them, I’ve been lucky, and I will go to them and thank them for being the parents they are.

/sap
-cough-

oh and also I stoutly defended my friends in school. I would say I was actually the bully of the playground in elementary school ic it weren’t for the fact that the boys actively antagonized us and almost derived some masochistic pleasure from being kicked. -_-

To explain what sets me off, I have to explain a bit about my family’s temperaments.
My Dad is rarely angry, but when he is he has to walk away because he needs to calm down.
Mom’s temper is unfailingly polite and a terrible thing to behold, but reaches full strength only in Mama Bear mode. I’m not kidding, listening to her dress down someone who was less than good to anyone she considers her kid is both terrifying and beautiful.
I’m an interesting mix. I rarely get angry for myself but Heaven help you if you mess with my family or friends.

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