Well, somebody has his poncho in a twist.
Although I’ve been sick for the past…oh…week…I’ve been feeling better about life in general than I have in a long time. I finally got through a big writing block, I’m trying new art techniques, and I’m starting to re-build the LeyLines buffer that got wiped out by all these major changes. Even little things, like sorting out health and car insurance after the marriage, I’m finally getting done. I feel like, for the first time in months, that I’m starting to come out of survival mode. That I have the mental space to look forward to things and make plans beyond today, or this week, or next week. I’m excited to put together the Kickstarter for book 3. And render my submission for ECCC’s Monsters and Dames collection. And finish my lesson plans for the after-school workshops I’m going to do next year. There’s lots of things I’m looking forward to, and for the first time in months I feel like I actually have a realistic chance of pursuing them again. In large part, this is just because I have less anxiety about everything. There’s nothing I HAVE to do in the coming months. And not having to worry about the next MUST DO OR ELSE item opens up a lot of space in my mind.
It’s amazing how just being anxious and worried makes it so much harder to actually take actions that would reduce that anxiety. I often wonder how much more I would be capable of, if I could learn how to reduce my stress level when in the middle of the storm. In general, our modern age almost glorifies a lot of behaviors that actually make us far less capable. Pulling over-nighters is seen as being dedicated, whereas the person that lets a problem rest is often viewed as too lazy or too eager to give up. Coffee is worshiped as a miracle brew that allows us to work longer and harder, but are we really working smarter? Or is it just easier to think our decisions are wise when we’re running on little sleep, food, or sunshine? Lately I’ve found that I’m getting more rest, but getting more done, and I feel better about my life and myself.
How could you be treating yourself better?