Okay, sounds like most readers would be happy with a fan-art & fan-fiction week. So if you’d like to participate in that, please send your guest art/comics/prose to robinrone _AT_ gmail.com. If you have anything you’d like to be linked, please let me know so I can make sure to direct fellow LeyLians to your other awesome work! Everything will need to be sent in by chapter end, which will be around July 10th.
I’ve been working on scripting chapter nine. I had a very clear idea for it. It was going to be Pakku-centric, and cover more of his back-story. When working on it, I kept finding myself looking for excuses not to start it. I made an outline. Then another, more detailed outline. The detailed outline turned into focusing on some world-building elements for Kuzopa’s economy, specifically its black market. And that in turn yielded a new character, who I’m pretty sure is here to stay. Because Blood Moths are scary and awesome and I love women that are both of those things. So a lot of good came out of this process, but after weeks of trying to start writing, I realized something was wrong. I figured out that the reason I wasn’t starting was because I was dreading the chapter. I was afraid of it.
I spoke with Cory about it, and his take was this: “Maybe you’re not ready to write it yet.” Pakku’s back-story has a lot of elements that are closely tied to my own, recent past. In many cases, pulled directly from it. As they say: Write what you know. The problem is, sometimes that means you’re trying to pull from emotions that are still raw. Sometimes, we’re not ready to write what we know. My therapist has a phrase that I’ve always felt was very important for me to remember: “Sometimes, resistance exists for a reason.” Acknowledging that resistance, and respecting it, created a huge sense of relief.
I’m not sure when we’ll get to Pakku’s chapter. I know it’s coming, but I don’t know when I’ll be ready for it, and I guess that’s okay. Better to write it when I have more perspective on it. When I understand my experience, and therefore his experience, more completely. The thing I am most pleased with is that I recognized the signals my unconscious mind was sending. Enough to at least talk about it with Cory. In the past I would have just kept pushing until either the story broke, or I did. I would not have been able to respect that resistance. Now I’m happily working on a chapter nine that I’m ready for, and have had in my mind since the first few outlines for the whole LeyLines story. It’s satisfying to know that I’m learning more about my own signals and limitations. It’s nice to work WITH myself, instead of AGAINST myself.
What unconscious signals do you have? How does your brain or body tell you something that your conscious mind might have missed?