Sometimes even those with the deepest determination will waver with doubts, and ask for guidance. But will it be provided?
I’ve been a little overwhelmed myself, lately. Cory interviewed for a promotion two weeks ago, and he’s still waiting on the decision. My direct supervisor, who has been a good friend and mentor to the past five years, is leaving to go to another country, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen with the rest of the team at my day-job. For Moko Press, Cory and I are working on trying to find other ways to bring in income, to keep building the company. There’s so many uncertainties. Some days I feel like there’s a real possibility that we could make it all work. Other days, I wonder what I’m trying to do with my life.
It’s funny, the little things that will knock me down. On Wednesday, I had several projects go from 0 priority to NOW NOW NOW. I had four or five different groups to coordinate with, and on a very short time-frame, and I had no idea how I was going to make it work. I was frantically making phone calls, emails, running around and fretting. Held it all together…until I got home, and discovered that the dishwasher wasn’t working. And that’s when I completely fell apart. Because if I couldn’t fix a dishwasher, how could I hope to fix the problem, or my life, or anything at all? No matter, that I’m not an expert in dishwasher repair, or even a novice. No matter, that the functionality of a dishwasher has nothing to do with running a business, or telling a story, or being a good human being. Somehow, my inability to fix that dishwasher seemed like a sign that nothing would ever work, now or ever, and it was because I was no good, and didn’t deserve to have things work. A silly notion, but these things rarely seem to function on logical lines.
I’m thinking about taking a one-week break after the end of this chapter, just to catch up with the buffer and set some things in order. If anyone would be interested in submitting fan art, comics, or fiction, I’d appreciate it. Please email them to robinrone _ AT _ gmail.com
Sorry to be a downer. It’s been a strange and difficult week. I hope yours has been better, and thank you to those that have sent me encouraging notes and comments lately. They’ve been very helpful.