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C08P05 – How dare you!

C08P05 – How dare you! published on 12 Comments on C08P05 – How dare you!

My best wishes to anyone that has been impacted by the events in Boston. Please stay safe, and take care of each other!

It’s been a scary week so far, which naturally leads to scary thoughts. Whenever a tragedy happens like this in the world, I always find my thoughts wandering to my own mortality. The understanding that one day I will die, and it is inescapable. I don’t believe actively in any faith. If I had to give a name to what I believe in, it would be “The Unknown,” because I cannot know everything, and thus anything is possible and I cannot be certain of anything. I have faith that my understanding and perception of the world is only entirely true for me. I will never be able to experience the world as someone else, and as a result the only perception I can know with conviction is my own — and even that I am still figuring out!

Having faith that I cannot know anything for certain makes the concept of death sometimes very frightening, because the only thing I believe about it is that I will not know what it will be like until I experience it. Will I go to an afterlife, and be judged? If so, by which of the hundreds of rules that exist in the philosophies of men — or by none of them? Will I be reincarnated? If so, that has already happened, and I do not remember any of those past lives, which means my present life will be dead even if my soul lives on. Or perhaps I will just stop, in which case I will not be capable of caring, because I will not exist. And I think the concept of not caring about my own existence is the most frightening one of all.

I’ve always had this quiet feeling that my life will be short. I think that’s part of why, despite all the patterns I have that normally would stand in the way, I’ve just started the projects I wanted to, rather than wishing I was able to start. I don’t feel like I have the time to waste on wishing. And I’m always afraid of dying before I had a chance to finish these stories. I wouldn’t want to leave you without an ending. And there’s so many stories I want to tell. I just hope I live long enough to tell them all, but that may be a hopeless desire, because as soon as I finish one story, a new one fills my mind. I hope that I will always be telling stories, which also means constantly living with the fear that I will never finish them. Or learning to put that fear to rest.

I don’t have any good questions today, I’m afraid. Too many strange thoughts, and all of a grim nature. Take care of each other. Surround yourself with people that understand what love is, and don’t waste your time with people that hurt you. Find what you love and do it, work towards your dreams instead of wishing they would come to you. Our time on this earth may be short, but we have the power to make it meaningful, if only to ourselves. Let’s be magnificent.

12 Comments

Children visit this site. Moderate your language accordingly.

Why does Nikel and his tribe have a negative view of Dreameater? I mean, okay, Dreameater isn’t exactly the most benevolent of deities I’ve ever seen, but none of the other gods in this world seem entirely ‘good’. They all seem rather ambivalent, even Vision (who hasn’t actually seemed to have made his actual presence known yet…)

Part of it is the Tribe believes all Mysteries are evil. Which, now that I think of it, I haven’t exactly laid out who’s a Mystery in clear terms. (Vision, Dream Eater, The Rainbow Goddess, and Bone Matron are the four Mysteries). Furthermore, the worshipers of Dream Eater are seen as collaborators with Lightbringers. We’ll be learning a little more about that in this chapter. Thanks for the question. Made me realize that I need to make some time to actually devote some exposition to these gods at some point…

I experienced similar feelings after the loss of my grandmother and grandfather (From different sides of the family) in the same year (Within a month of each other).

I want to believe that this is not the only life I will live. Energy can be neither destroyed or created – only transformed. And we tick by an energy…

Yet it is still an unknown…and it is still scary.

Does the Chieftain really have the power to kick his “guests” out and hold her there? He sure seems to THINK he does.

For the longest time during my childhood I told myself I wasn’t afraid of death. Nowadays, I understand this was simply because I’d been lucky enough to not have had people close to me pass away at that point. Now that security is gone, I can understand where you’re coming from.

My theory is the reason death is so frightening to me is because of the aspect that is eternal – even if we simply die and are no more, this effect wouldn’t be very different from a long, dreamless sleep. It’s the idea that it lasts for longer than humans can perceive. We can’t imagine eternity; our evolution as a species and as a society has always been entirely based on limitation. Limited space, limited time, a limited world. So when we look at everything we expect to see limits… and we can’t see them.

Maybe it’s a blessing as well as a curse. On one hand it frightens us, but on the other hand, eternity is an incredible thing, far beyond mortal comprehension. I try to put the fear of it aside and focus on the wonder. After all, I believe I’m only going to fear death so long as I’m alive… what’s the point of that? It’s like worrying about an exam when you’ve got months to wait for your results. The results will come eventually, and you can’t change them, so all you can do is hope they’ll be good and put it out of your mind. Life is for living.

I absolutely love the layout of this page. It’s unconventional and even manages to get away with ignoring the left-right rule with the dialogue because the panels guide you through the page so well. Poor Zhiro! That panel where Ravazhi is reasoning with Nikel really boosted his likeability to me for some reason… I guess it just highlighted what a gentle, concerned man he is, even to strangers.

I hope you feel better soon, and my thoughts go out to those who were hurt or who lost… things like this shouldn’t happen in this day and age. There are monsters in the world.

This is not going to end well.

See, I was raised in a very Christian environment, and I was never certain about my salvation. Therefore, the idea that there’s nothing after death–that our bodies shut down–is actually relieving to me, because I was never sure I would go to heaven, and the other option was described to me in terrifying terms. I mean, yes, it bothers me that I will cease existing (and that I, like you, won’t have forever to finish all my projects), but I try not to allow myself to dwell on it. I have not-existed for much longer than I have existed, and it didn’t bother me then, so it won’t bother me when it happens.

When I was little up until my late teens I was terrified of just randomly dropping dead, disaster happening to my family and the world generally burning down. I created totems that I would pray to, because being Protestant God didn’t have a face. So She-Ra action figure was just as good right?
Then I read Terry Pratchett’s Discword and Neil Gaiman’s Sandman. I loved the idea of a kind and caring Death. For some reason the idea that a spunky goth chick or a grandfatherly skeleton could be waiting to guide me on the other side eased a lot of my anxiety.
I too didn’t expect to live very long, its pretty common for people who come from less than stellar childhoods. You understand unconsciously that the level of stress you are under isn’t good for you but seeing a life beyond the crap is impossible at the moment. My very first therapist told me, “Oh honey, you don’t want to die. You just want to end the life you are living.” And then proceeded to help me figure out how to change some things.

Oddly enough, imagining death as a compassionate entity does make it seem a little less scary. I’m not in any hurry to meet them, but it does make me feel just a little bit less anxious about it.

I hadn’t realized that was a common experience for people with childhoods that were challenging. I keep running into beliefs like this that I thought only I had, but then discover others with similar backgrounds have many of the same patterns. Believing that looking forward to things will cause the event to catastrophically fail. Having “day-mares” and struggling to understand what purpose they had. Always strange to realize that I’m not alone in those kinds of experiences. Comforting too.

I’m in no hurry to see what happens after dearh, but when my time comes I’ll want to know what’s after this life. Being a Protestant, I kind of have an idea of what to expect, but the afterlife is never concretely explained and the imagery used–particularly in relation to hell–is much debated. I often worry about those I’ll be leaving behind, or that I’ll go without being able to finish any of my projects, but in the end Death doesn’t frighten me. I hope you have a peaceful day and tjat all your loved ones are well.

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