Not much to say today. This was a bit of a crash and burn weekend, but I don’t know why. Always something I struggle with — not knowing the “why” of things. Like if I could just grasp the root of the problem, I could rip it up like a weed.
Without the why, it’s hard for me to have compassion for behaviors and feelings. Particularly anger. I’ve had a deep-seated belief that only bad people are angry. I know, I know, that’s silly and ridiculous. Everybody gets angry. Yet I cannot shake the knee-jerk reaction I have to my own anger — being angry just makes me angry that I’m angry, and then I get angry that I’m angry about being angry.
It’s a rotten cycle, but goodness is it hard to get out of once you’re in.
Sometimes, I use characters in my stories to explore my own conundrums. Often figuring out how to solve their character arc helps me solve my own. Or at least find a new perspective on it. Both Mizha and Zhiro will have their own struggles with anger. This is only the beginning for Mizha.
Sorry for being a bit of a downer today, guys. Did anyone have a good weekend, to balance out the scale on my bad one? What did you do?