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C06P08 – Holy woman

C06P08 – Holy woman published on 12 Comments on C06P08 – Holy woman

Yes, Tama DID wait until Kali had left the room to express his incredulity…Which gives him SLIGHTLY more tact than a bag of rocks.

I’ve never been a particularly tactful person. I’m learning. Being on the internet has actually helped cultivate those skills a lot, oddly enough. It always seemed like people, given the option of anonymity, chose to become the absolute worse person they could. That always seemed far more exhausting to me than trying to be the BEST person I could. And, since I have the opportunity to think twice before opening my “mouth” online, I’ve finally learned that sometimes it’s best to just walk away than start a fight.

…It should be noted that this skill is not nearly so well developed in person. Ah well. Life, it’s a work in progress.

12 Comments

Children visit this site. Moderate your language accordingly.

You have no tact? I’d never have guessed.

Well, I think I have tact, but I’m told “Robin, you’re so blunt” a lot. So who knows…maybe I’m only tactful compared to what I could be saying, but not compared to everybody else?

I just don’t see the point of not talking about things. If there’s a problem, let’s get in the open and deal with it. I don’t mind read, catch a clue, or interpret between the lines well. So talking becomes the only option to solve issues, and I’d rather it be NOW than sit and wait.

D: Zhiro. Calm the fuck down.

I also have no tact. I do not mean that I have no respect for other people–I do my best to monitor my language so I don’t sound like a presumptive asshole. But that doesn’t mean I pay attention to the rules that tell me when I should and should not swear. Or talk about sex. Or how loud my voice should be.

Maybe that’s the reason I’m so often told how blunt I am? Somewhere there seems to be this unspoken rule that you don’t tell people what you really think because it could hurt their feelings — that white lies are better. Except, in the long run, how are they going to feel when they learn all those “white lies” were fake? I just don’t see the point!

Have you ever read the novella “Lying” by Sam Harris? He basically lays out the same argument against lying. It’s kind of sad when we view telling the truth as breaking the social contract.

(Although there is a difference between “telling the truth” and “being an asshole.” But you are so sweet I doubt that ever happens to you. Some people don’t like the truth, but that’s their problem, not yours.)

*grins* I love it. I have almost no tact, either…and honestly, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I value honesty over most everything else, and when you don’t have any tact there isn’t any sugar coating that goes into your speech, which makes it that much more honest. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but I figure…if it hurts, there’s a reason for it. And that reason probably has something to do wig your own choices. If you change the things about yourself that you don’t like, then there isn’t anything to be upset or ashamed about. I’ve always loved when people that are angry with me point out all my “flaws,” as they see them. I just kind of smile and agree. It’s a rather quick way to take the wind out of their sails, and rather gratifying, too! This isn’t to say, of course, that I’m perfect or even close, but I do use the opportunities to judge what people truly think of me and use said opportunities to improve myself. People are rarely as honest about their feelings as when they are angry.

I think that statement, “People are rarely as honest about their feelings as when they are angry.” is brilliant. I’ve heard a lot of people say “I’m brutally honest” but the truth is factual, not brutal. When people bottle up their feelings and lash out in anger, they’re rarely 100% honest. Usually they blow things out of proportion to harm somebody else, and that’s just brutality, not honesty.

I guess that’s why I find tact over-rated. Too often “being nice” results in pushing people from one end of falsehood (“everything is fine”) to another (“I’m going to tell you how it REALLY is”). In both cases, people are acting on a pattern, rather than calmly evaluating what they really do, or do not, feel about something.

Every time I tried to shield somebody from my feelings, it just made things worse down the line.

What I DO want to learn is more tools to express the truth in a non-threatening way. Because ultimately what I want is to communicate, not to harm.

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